1. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The
bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that
I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the
rear of the bus and sits down, fuming and crying.
She says to a man next to her: "The driver just
insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up
there and insult him back – go ahead, I'll hold
your monkey for you."
2. A man would come home very late and very
drunk every night. His wife decides to teach him
a lesson by dressing up like Satan and scaring him. When he finally stumbles across the lawn,
his wife jumps out and howls like a demon. He
looks at her and shouted, "DEVIL I am your in-law. You don't scare me. I'm married to yoursister"!
3. A lady sent this text to her lover. “If u are
sleeping, send me your dreams; if you are
laughing, send me your laugh; if you are crying,
send me your tears; if u are eating send me ur
food; even if you are using your ATM send me
the money. The young man replied after a critical
thinking, “Sorry I can’t send you anything cos
am in the toilet!!!
4. Husband comes home from Church, greets his
wife, lifts her up and carries her around the
house. The wife is so surprised and asks smiling,
“did the Pastor preach about being romantic"?
Out of breath, the husband replies, "No, he said
we must carry our burdens...you have been a
great burden to me”.
5. A man is sitting at home on the veranda
having drinks with his wife and he says, "I love
you". She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?”
He replies, "It's me... talking to the beer.".
6. “Pastor, my dog is dead. Could there be a
service for the poor creature?" Pastor replied,
"No, we cannot have service for an animal in the
church. But there is a new church down the
road. Maybe...they will do something for the
animal". The man answered "Pastor, but do you
think they will accept a donation of US $25,000
in return for the burial service? Pastor exclaimed,
"Sweet Jesus! Why didn't u tell me the dog was
a Christian? I will conduct the service right
away".
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