12-MONTH WEDDING PLANNING CHECKLIST CALENDAR

Just engaged? Starting to envision your wedding? Wondering about all the things you'll need to do and when? Our month-by-month snapshot of all your wedding to-dos will steer you in the right direction.
12+ MONTHS BEFORE
Date: ______________________
Envision your wedding and draw up a budget.
Assemble your "planning team." Consider hiring a wedding consultant.
Pick a wedding date and time. Select several options, then check with your venues, officiant, and important guests before finalizing.
Start planning the guest list.
Look for and book ceremony sites and reception sites.
Ask friends and relatives to be in the wedding party.
Optional: Have an engagement party. You may want to register beforehand for gifts.
8-10 MONTHS BEFORE
Date: ______________________
Bride: Think about, shop for, and order your gown.
Envision reception food.
Decide what type of entertainment you want. A pianist for the cocktail hour, strolling violinists, a DJ, or band?
Think about your floral decor.
Research and book your wedding professionals. Interview vendors: photographer, videographer, reception band or DJ, florist.
Research a wedding insurance policy to protect your deposits.
Research and reserve accommodations for out-of-town guests.
Register for gifts.
Contact rental companies if you need to rent anything for ceremony/reception, such as chairs, tables, and tent.
6-8 MONTHS BEFORE
Date: ______________________
Book ceremony musicians.
Order bridesmaid dresses.
Start planning honeymoon.
Send save-the-date cards. This is a particularly good idea if you're marrying during a tourist or holiday season or having a destination wedding.
4-6 MONTHS BEFORE
Date: ______________________
Attend pre wedding counseling, if required.
Shop for and order invitations and wedding rings.
Shop for formal wears.
Renew or get passports, if necessary.
Envision your wedding cake and research, interview, and book a cake designer.
3 MONTHS BEFORE
Date: ______________________
Order wedding cake.
Hire a calligrapher, if you want your invitations professionally addressed.
Attend your shower. (It may be earlier, depending on when hosts decide to have it.)
Groom: Rent the men's formalwear.
Hire wedding-day transport: limousines, other cars. Look into transportation sooner if you're considering renting streetcars or over-the-top travel.
2 MONTHS BEFORE
Date: ______________________
Mail your invitations.
Write your vows.
Purchase gifts for parents, attendants, and each other.
Book your stylist and try out big-day hairstyles.
Book a makeup artist and go for a trial run.
1 MONTH BEFORE
Date: ______________________
Apply for a marriage license. Check with the local bureau in the town where you'll wed.
Bride: Have final gown fitting. Bring your maid of honor along to learn how to bustle your dress. Have the dress pressed and bring it home.
Call all bridesmaids. Make sure they have their gowns ready for the wedding.
Make last-minute adjustments with vendors.
Create a wedding program to hand out to guests.
Order and plan in-room welcome baskets for out-of-town guests.
2 WEEKS BEFORE
Date: ______________________
Review final RSVP list and call any guests who have not yet sent a response.
Deliver must-have shot lists to photographer and videographer. Include who should be in formal portraits and determine when portraits will be taken.
Deliver final song list to your DJ or bandleader. Include special song requests and songs you don't want played.
Bride: Get your last pre wedding haircut and color.
1 WEEK BEFORE
Date: ______________________
Give reception site/caterer final guest head count. Include vendors, such as the photographer or band members, who will expect a meal. Ask how many extra plates the caterer will prepare.
Supply location manager with a list of vendor requests such as a table for DJ or setup space needed by florist.
Plan reception seating chart.
Print place and table cards, or finalize list with the calligrapher you have hired to do so.
Call all wedding vendors and confirm arrangements.
Give ceremony and reception site managers a schedule of vendor delivery and setup times, plus contact numbers.
Groom: Get your hair trimmed.
Attend bachelor/ette parties.
2-3 DAYS BEFORE
Date: ______________________
Bride: If you need to, have your gown pressed or steamed.
Groom: Go for final fitting and pick up your formalwear.
Groom: Ask the best man to make sure all groomsmen attend fittings and pick up their outfits.
Determine wedding-party positions during ceremony and the order of the party in the processional and recessional.
Hand off place cards, table cards, menus, disposable cameras, favors, and any other items for setting the tables to the caterer and/or reception site manager.
Reconfirm final details with all vendors. Discuss any necessary last-minute substitutions.
Call the limousine- or car-rental company for pickup times and locations.
Arrange for guests without cars to be picked up from the airport or train station. Ask friends, attendants, or relatives to help.
Deliver welcome baskets to the hotel concierge; make sure to include names and delivery instructions.
DAY BEFORE
Date: ______________________
Provide all wedding professionals with an emergency phone number to call on the day of the wedding.
Write checks and/or talk to wedding hosts (usually your parents, if not you) about any final balances to be paid at the end of the reception.
NIGHT BEFORE
Date: ______________________
Rehearse ceremony. Meet with wedding party, ceremony readers, immediate family, and your officiant at the ceremony site to rehearse and iron out details.
Bring unity candle, aisle runner, yarmulkes, or other ceremony accessories to the site.
Give your marriage license to your officiant.
Attend rehearsal dinner.
Present attendants with gifts at the rehearsal dinner. You'll want to do this especially if the gifts are accessories to be worn during the wedding.
DAY OF
Date: ______________________
Present parents and each other with gifts.
Give wedding bands to the best man and the maid of honor to hold during the ceremony.
Give best man the officiant's fee envelope, to be handed off after the ceremony.
Introduce your reception site manager to your consultant or maid of honor for questions or problems during the reception.
Assign a family member or attendant to be the photographer's contact so he knows who is who.
POST WEDDING
Date: ______________________
Prearrange for someone to return any rentals.
Preplan for attendants to take the bride's gown for cleaning and return the groom's tux to the rental shop.
Write and send thank-you notes to gift-bearing guests and vendors who were especially helpful.

HOW TO PLAN YOUR WEDDING IN 30 DAYS

The key to getting it done is to cut out all the panic-inducing extras and focus on the big tasks at hand. So the next time you feel like you'll never get it all done, rest assured, it's simpler than you think. Here, your cheat sheet and secret weapon against wedding planning meltdown mode.
30 DAYS...
1. KNOCK OUT THE THREE BIG ESSENTIALS: BUDGET, GUEST LIST, AND STYLE.
What's the dream reception look like? A small intimate dinner at your favorite restaurant? A dressy cocktail party? At the same time, figure out how much money you have to spend. The average wedding in 2012 cost close to $29,000, not including the honeymoon. A big budget influencer is the guest list. It costs more to invite more, so keep that in mind. Also, the average guest list is about 140 people. Because you're working within a short timeframe, and potential guests may have already made plans for the month, you'll probably end up with a smaller than average guest list.
2. FIND AND BOOK A RECEPTION SITE, AND SET A DATE.
The usual suspects (country clubs, ballrooms, hotels) might already be booked for Saturday night but call them anyway and try for a Friday or even Sunday afternoon or evening. Also, think outside the typical wedding venue and consider nearby restaurants with event space or large rooms that can be sectioned off.
3. START A WEDDING WEBSITE AND SET UP A REGISTRY.
It's free to create a website on TheKnot.com and having one is by far the best way to get info out to your guests quickly (and 30 days is quick!). Once you've set up your registries, link them from your website so that guests have an easy way to find where you're registered.
4. SEND OUT INVITES.
Sure, you could email your guests but we think a more personal alternative is still the best route for a wedding invite. You won't have time for custom, but check out stationery stores around your area for pre-printed invites or look online (Wedding Paper Divas and Minted.com have a ton of designs). If you have an extra small guest list and good penmanship, you could even send hand-written notes. Just don't forget to include your wedding website on the card so that everyone knows where to go for more info.
5. FIND A WEDDING DRESS.
There won't be time for fittings and custom orders but you still have a few options. Bridal salons host sample sales all the time where if you're lucky, you could buy and take a designer gown home with you same-day. Or, check out any number of popular ready-to-wear stores that are now carrying wedding-worthy white dresses. There's BHLDN with dreamy vintage-style dresses, Ann Taylor for classic and simple silhouettes, and even Nordstrom for the variety factor to name a few.
6. DECIDE ON A SUIT OR TUX FOR HIM.
This should be easy enough. Similar to the wedding dress, there won't be time to go custom but you still have the option to rent a tux from a Men's Wearhouse type of place. For classic suits, try Brooks Brothers or check out any number of stores like Zara and Top Man for affordable and totally on-trend styles.
7. PICK YOUR BRIDAL PARTY AND TELL THEM WHAT TO WEAR.
We recommend choosing a color and style and then asking your best girlfriends to find the closest match. So maybe it's that everyone needs to find a flowy chiffon dress in pink, or a knee-length dress in navy and any neckline goes. Or -- if it works with your style -- just ask them to wear their favorite LBD from their closet. The guys can rent tuxes, or you could have them wear their own suits and then buy them matching ties to coordinate the look.
8. CREATE AN OUTLINE OF THE OTHER VENDORS YOU NEED TO HIRE, AND START INQUIRING ABOUT YOUR DATE.
This is probably going to be your toughest task by far. In the very least, you're going to want to find a florist, photographer, videographer cake baker and band or DJ. Your best bet here: Let one vendor lead you to the next. If you find a photographer you love, ask them to recommend the rest of your vendors.
25 DAYS...
9. BOOK YOUR PHOTOGRAPHER.
This goes for all your wedding vendors: Call references to get first-hand reviews. Ask any and all questions you might have about their services before you sign a contract. You may be working on a tight deadline but that doesn’t mean you don’t have time for clarification.
10. BOOK YOUR VIDEOGRAPHER.
We can’t stress it enough: the wedding goes by in a blur. You’ll remember it better with a video from the day. In the very least, get someone to capture video of the ceremony. If your top pick is booked, ask them to recommend someone else who can help you. Maybe they have a talented second shooter who is available.
11. BOOK YOUR CAKE BAKER (AND CATERER IF IT’S NOT APART OF YOUR RECEPTION CONTRACT).
Beyond frosting color and flavor and filling, there are a few other details to hash out. Get this all figured out during your design meeting. Once you’ve decided what it should look like, figure out how to display it and where you want it to go in the reception room.
12. BOOK YOUR FLORIST (AND ARRANGE FOR ANY RENTALS).
Typically, a florist will present you with a flower proposal. Then as you firm up details and plans, he or she will tweak and edit the proposal so that it meets your style and budget requirements. To expedite the process, you have to be extremely communicative and upfront about your budget (usually 8-10% of your total budget should go to decor) and style (bring lots of pictures to your meeting).
13. BOOK A HAIR AND MAKEUP ARTIST.
It’s a very good idea to schedule a trial run. This is your hair and face we’re talking about! The good news is that if you end up booking with a hairstylist or makeup artist, the money you pay for the trial usually applies to the day rate.
14. BOOK YOUR DJ OR BAND.
You probably won’t have time to track them down and hear them live before you book, but at least listen to demos. Make sure they’re from recent weddings. If it’s a band, make sure the demo is representative of all the musicians who will actually play your wedding.
20 DAYS...
15. PLAN THE CEREMONY WITH YOUR OFFICIANT AND OUTLINE THE PROGRAM.
If you have a minister or rabbi, you can pretty much just follow along the traditional ceremony outline, add in your reading and song picks and call it done. If you want a friend to oversee the ceremony, you’ll need him or her to get ordained in order to make it official on the marriage license. Don’t worry though -- it’s a fast turnaround time to get ordained online. For example, you can apply to the Universal Life Church and have a confirmation ordination email back from them usually within 72 hours.
16. DECIDE ON YOUR HONEYMOON. BOOK FLIGHTS AND HOTEL ROOMS.
The best deals can usually be found online mid-week on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. That’s when air fares are typically at their lowest rates. If you don’t have the patience to book through a travel site, call a travel agent. It sounds old-school but agents can help you get a trip booked with low-hassle and most of them are affordable or even free (many will take a cut from the hotel or airline instead of you).
17. SHOP FOR WEDDING RINGS AND ORDER THEM.
If you can’t get the one you want in time, order the ones you love anyway and find a placeholder for the ceremony. Pick up a pair of inexpensive silver or gold bands at a jeweler in town. Or have a little fun with it and find your place holder wedding bands at an antique store or flea market.
18. PLAN THE REHEARSAL DINNER AND INVITE YOUR BRIDAL PARTY (EMAIL OR CALL WITH INFO AND PUT IT ON YOUR WEDDING WEBSITE).
This doesn’t have to involve a five-star dining experience. Go casual and pick a restaurant with fun built-in décor (read: no extras needed). Simply call to reserve the back room or several tables. Ask about a large group menu or put in your order ahead of time and let the restaurant do the rest.
15 DAYS...
19. CHECK IN WITH YOUR VENDORS AND FINALIZE PLANS WITH EACH OF THEM.
Confirm the ceremony outline with the officiant, run through the reception with your caterer or reception manager, iron out the flower proposal, choose the menu and cake, make a list of must-play songs and do-not-play songs, create a must-have list of photos and figure out your hair and makeup look.
20. BUY YOUR VEIL, SHOES AND ACCESSORIES, AND DECIDE ON YOUR "SOMETHING OLD, NEW, BORROWED, AND BLUE."
21. GET YOUR FINAL GUEST LIST COUNT OF WHO’S COMING AND ASSIGN THEM TO YOUR SEATING CHART (IF YOU’RE HAVING ONE).
22. WORK ON DAY-OF PAPER ELEMENTS INCLUDING THE CEREMONY PROGRAM, ESCORT CARDS.
Print them yourself or take them to a local printer who will be able to get the job done for you on the spot or within a day.
10 DAYS...
23. CONFIRM ALL FINAL PAYMENT AMOUNTS, DELIVERY AND LOCATION TIMES WITH YOUR VENDORS.
24. BUY GIFTS (OR FAVORS) FOR GUESTS, BRIDAL PARTY, PARENTS AND EACH OTHER.
Have gifts wrapped in the store if that’s an option. You’ll save time and the headache of tracking down wrapping supplies last-minute.
25. SHOP AND PACK FOR THE HONEYMOON.
26. PREPARE YOUR WEDDING TOAST OR THANK-YOUS TO FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
5 DAYS...
27. CREATE A DAY-OF SCHEDULE AND CONTACT LIST FOR PARENTS, BRIDAL PARTY AND VENDORS.
28. APPLY FOR YOUR MARRIAGE LICENSE TOGETHER. YOU USUALLY CAN’T DO THIS UNTIL A FEW DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING ANYWAY.
Go online to find out what the cost and process is. Generally apply in person at your local county clerk’s office or courthouse.
29.  PUT TOGETHER AN OVERNIGHT BAG FOR THE WEDDING NIGHT.
30. PUT FINAL PAYMENTS AND CASH TIPS FOR VENDORS IN ENVELOPES AND GIVE TO A FRIEND TO DISTRIBUTE.
GET MARRIED!

30 UNIQUE WEDDING IDEAS

Yours won't be just another cookie-cutter wedding, here are our top ideas to make your wedding a standout celebration.
Give guests a place to mingle between dance breaks by creating a lounge area at your reception. Fill the space with couches or chairs and plenty of pillows to sink into. It's the perfect way to keep everyone in on the party even when they're resting. Really want to wow 'em? Close off the area with curtains to create a VIP vibe.
RECEPTION USHERS
You may already be planning to have your ushers escort guests to their ceremony seats, but consider having reception ushers. These "live escort cards" walk guests to their tables for an upscale restaurant experience. Ask your reception venue or caterer if its waitstaff can do this double duty, or assign a few ushers to the job.
GUEST TRANSPORTATION
If you're planning on shuttling your guests from the ceremony to the reception, make the journey part of the fun by renting some seriously cool mass transportation. Take wedding transportation to new heights with a hot air balloon ride. Or, if it'll suit your wedding style, get nostalgic with some charming yellow school buses. And for extra flair, customize the ride by playing fun music or decking out the bus with a sign that reads, "Sarah and John's wedding or bust!"
PRE-CEREMONY COCKTAILS
Your guests won't be expecting any drinks until the reception, so give them a pleasant surprise by setting up a table of light beverages on the way into the ceremony. Just don't serve anything too strong -- think: mimosas or fruit-infused iced teas they can sip before taking their seats (and don't forget to have nonalcoholic versions too!). Have your caterer or ushers collect any stray glasses to make sure the space is tidy before the processional begins.
STANDOUT ESCORT CARDS
Instead of a paper card that'll get lost or thrown away, upgrade your escort cards to something worth keeping (or eating!). Try personalized cake pops with guests' names and table numbers written on them in icing (or on a cute tag), or engraved martini glasses that double as favors.
UPGRADED WELCOME BAGS
Make your guests feel like VIPs with welcome bags that go beyond a map and a few snacks. Stuff personalized tote bags with mini bottles of bubbly or a six-pack of a local microbrew, a gift certificate to your favorite local coffee shop and an individual "Welcome!" note from you.
THOUGHTFUL (AND USEFUL) FAVORS
Keep your guests comfortable all day by thinking ahead. Out of town guests will appreciate a custom scented soap so they don't have to rely on the standard hotel samples. Planning on dancing until the next morning? Put out baskets of flip-flops (in your wedding colors, of course) so guests can take their shoes off. Having an outdoor reception that might get breezy? Make sure guests keep warm by offering up some cozy pashminas. And for a summer outdoor ceremony in the afternoon, provide a station with spray-on sunscreen and a stack of inexpensive sunglasses.
A DIY FLOWER STATION
Let guests know that it's not just the wedding party that's special to you (it's everyone!) by letting each one stand out with their own corsage or boutonniere. Ask your florist about setting up a make-your-own-flower station: Put out some sturdy blooms like spray roses or mums, supply lots of colorful ribbons and pins, and add labels with easy-to-follow instructions.
"TO-GO" VALET GIFTS
Send guests home feeling taken care of by having your valets place small favors or end-of-the-night snacks in guests' cars before handing over the keys. No valets? Set out baskets of the gifts -- such as soft eye masks with notes that say "Sleep tight!" or even hangover kits -- for guests to grab on their way out of the reception venue. If you’ve arranged bus or shuttle transportation, have a favor waiting on board for guests.
KAYZDEKOR NOTE: Hangover kits (if you're sending guests home on a shuttle) should include Aspirin -- not Tylenol -- for safe headache-busting.
CONVENIENT CHILD CARE
Hire a babysitter (or two) and set her up in a room so your youngest guests have a place to go when they tucker out. If it's possible, pick a room near your reception location so parents can stop by to check in on the tykes and then return to the party easily. Stock the room with snacks, games and a portable DVD player to keep them entertained, and make sure there's a soft sofa and blankets for those inevitable naps.
A BUBBLY BAR
Make toast time delicious by letting guests customize their champagne. Dishes full of fruit purees, lavender sprigs, citrus twists and flavored ice cubes that can be spooned into glasses of bubbly will make the toast that much more fun.
A MEMORABLE GUEST BOOK
Think beyond the typical guest book. One creative idea we love: Create a jigsaw puzzle of your photo and let guests sign each piece. Or put out silver trays with engraving pens so guests can carve a lasting message on a useful keepsake for you.
A (FRIENDS AND) FAMILY TREE SEATING CHART
You worked hard on figuring out that seating chart, so get the dinner conversation started by showing guests how they're connected. Create a sign that shows the relationships between the guests who will be sitting next to each other -- it'll help break the ice for those who haven't already met.
A FIRST-DANCE CONFETTI DROP
Your first dance will be one of the highlights of your wedding, so add this extra-special touch to up the entertainment factor (and make for some serious photo ops!). If your song is slow and romantic, have fresh flower petals instead of confetti dropped from the ceiling. Your rental company and florist can work together to make this happen -- and don't forget to make sure the reception waitstaff will be standing by to clean up.
A VIDEO CONFESSIONAL BOOTH
For a fresh twist on the hot photo booth trend, rent a video booth where guests can record a quick on-screen message for you. Ask your videographer to edit some of the best clips into your wedding video. Then, post your other favorite video “confessions” on your wedding website and encourage guests to check them out in your thank-you notes.
A HIP AFTER-PARTY
Instead of just hitting the bar next door when your reception venue closes, plan a true post wedding bash for you and your hardest-partying guests. Book a space with a completely different vibe from your reception (like a relaxed patio bar or a karaoke club to offset a formal ballroom) to keep the party going.
ALLOVER LIGHTING
Revolutionize your venue with creative lighting. Project falling leaves or snow to add drama to a boring, beige wall; add a funky geometric pattern or your monogram to the dance floor; or get basic up-lighting for the perimeter of the room to instantly transform the space. Your guests won't be able to stop staring (in a good way!).
A DECKED-OUT ENTRYWAY
We're not saying you should spend a gazillion dollars on a 20-foot-tall floral arrangement, but first impressions are important, so take time to think out the entrance to your reception. Add a couple flower arrangements to the escort card table or have your stationer create a stylish seating chart display. A table topped with your engagement photos, your parents' wedding albums, and any other from-the-family artifacts would make meaningful additions.
A SHOWSTOPPING CEREMONY EXIT
If you play it right, your ceremony exit will be one of the most heavily photographed moments of your wedding -- so forget the rose petals and birdseed. Jazz up your exit by passing out small bags of colorful confetti, paper airplanes, mini beach balls, or even lavender buds for everyone to toss your way. Even better: Stage your own mini parade by passing out parasols and noisemakers for your guests to escort you to your getaway car.
UNEXPECTED WEDDING MUSIC
Sure, a string quartet is nice, but you'll blow guests away with a jazz trio or a Spanish guitar player. To get the party going during the cocktail hour, look into hiring a mariachi band, a bluegrass group, or even a barbershop quartet for some seriously memorable melodies.
A WEDDING DRESS CHANGE
All eyes will be on you, so it'll be a huge shocker when you go from a classic wedding dress for the ceremony to a shorter, flirtier dress at the reception. Whether it's a cocktail dress you bought (but couldn't find an excuse to wear) or a sparkly, white dress that's just too short for the aisle, have fun with it! If you honestly can't imagine changing out of your wedding dress, make other changes: Let down your hair, switch your shoes, or add a few new pieces of jewelry.
COCKTAILS SERVED DIFFERENTLY
Grab guests' attention as soon as they arrive at the cocktail hour by having drinks and hors d'oeuvres displayed on colorful trays or even placed along the shelves of a makeshift bookcase-turned-bar. Or, have a fleet of waiters standing at the entrance, drink trays in hand, ready to greet guests at the door. The message will be clear: It's time to par-tay.
EXTRA SIGNAGE
If it's an outdoor wedding, create custom chalkboard signs as pointers for guests ("this way to the cocktail hour" or "wedding this way!"). For a more formal wedding, make beautifully scripted table numbers, monogrammed cocktail napkins, and even bathroom-door labels that read "ladies" and "gents."
A PHOTO BOOTH (RENTED OR HANDMADE)
Having a photo booth is a surefire way to capture memories a photographer might miss. For an extra-special touch, outfit your booth with themed props (snorkel gear and an under-the-sea backdrop for a summer wedding, opera masks and monocles for a formal affair, etc.) to get your guests in the mood; then be sure to send them a copy of their photo in your thank-you note.
WEDDING FAVORS WITH ENTERTAINMENT VALUE
Think of your wedding favors as an accessory to your reception. Want a packed dance floor? Distribute kazoos, maracas, or even rally towels for a good time that just won't quit.
A (REALLY) CREATIVE GROOM'S CAKE
How could your guests not take a picture of that? Find the right cake baker and go nuts with your groom's cake for a unique photo op. We've seen everything from elaborate guitars to football stadiums to armadillos to library book cakes. Other non-cake ideas: a table decked out in donuts, an ice cream bar, or a giant Rice Krispies Treat cake.
A (SURPRISE) CHOREOGRAPHED DANCE
Take a few dance lessons before your wedding, but instead of the standard waltz, kick it up a notch by learning a sultry tango or a high-energy swing routine, and then surprise everyone during your first dance. For an unexpected surprise, get your dad or even your grandpa in on the act. Imagine the looks on your guests' faces when you and your pops break into a hip-hop routine mid-father-daughter dance. (Bonus points if he can do the worm!)
KILLER MIDNIGHT SNACKS
Just when everyone thinks the fun is winding down, liven up the party with late-night nibbles that will leave everyone ready for an after-party. Think about it: crinkle French fries, fresh chocolate chip cookies and milk shooters, a fully loaded taco bar, or even a waffle truck!
DECKED-OUT TRANSPORTATION
Come up with a transportation plan that'll get guests talking. Maybe your car-obsessed uncle would be willing to play driver for the night in exchange for showing off his ridiculously cool Mustang. Your oversized clunker from high school might actually look pretty cool decked out with streamers and a "just married" sign. Even your bicycles -- tied off with fresh flowers would create a memorable exit.
SOCIAL MEDIA INTEGRATION
Start the party long before your wedding day with a brilliant wedding website (computer science degree not required). Get your guests involved with live tweets or an Instagram feed, so you and your guests have a record of the day just as it happened. Upload Blogs (aka video blogs) of your bridal party, poll guests on the reception music, add animated elements, or even create a "wedding guest of the week" spotlight column. Start your web page on www.kayzdekor.com or contact us for the upload of your wedding pictures on our blog and also the courage of your wedding decoration and your wedding video on our YouTube

12 UNIQUE WEDDING VOWS THAT SHOW WHAT A MARRIAGE SHOULD REALLY BE ABOUT

Marriage is changing, from who can get married (37 states now allow gay marriage!) to who actually ends up doing it. Only 26% of millennials are married, a sharp decrease from 36% of Generation X and 48% of baby boomers, according to the Pew Research Center. But marriage isn't obsolete — in fact, in many ways it's thriving as we re-evaluate what the institution really means to us.
And with re-evaluating marriage comes re-evaluating weddings. The Knot's "2014 Real Weddings Study" found that couples are foregoing traditional wedding customs to modernize their nuptials through their choice of rings, dresses and officiants.
That includes — perhaps most importantly — the vows. Couples today are taking cues from badass brides like Amelia Earhart, who banned the word "obey" from her 1931 wedding vows, and reciting promises to one another that reflect the partnerships they strive for. Here are 12 real-life couples who vowed...
1. "TO SPLIT THE DIFFERENCE ON THE THERMOSTAT."
Why it's awesome: When Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston got married, Pitt pledged to "split the difference on the thermostat." While that partnership didn't last, as we all know, it was a lighthearted vow that highlights a crucial element of modern marriage: compromise. The key to a happy marriage is learning how to meet halfway.
2. "TO BE A TRUE AND LOYAL FRIEND TO YOU."
Why it's awesome: Marriages weren't always about intimate, caring partnerships between equals. But we know well enough now that the happiest, most long-lasting marriages are those in which partners see each other as friends (even studies have proven it true). Jevan's vows to Alithea, shared by the Knot, are a reminder that the bedrock of friendship is what makes a modern marriage stand.
3. "TO COMMUNICATE FULLY AND FEARLESSLY."
Why it's awesome: Among the traditional promise of partnership and faith, real-life couple Anne and Gabrielle told the Knot they vowed "to communicate fully and fearlessly" as spouses. In our modern world, we have seemingly endless ways to communicate — text, email, Skype, Snapchat — and yet still have to work to connect. Sitting down face-to-face, making eye contact and being vulnerable with one another is still crucial, as is being honest without fear of judgment from your partner. Emojis aside, that's what really sustains a lasting relationship.
4. "TO GRAB YOUR BUTT EVEN WHEN WE'RE OLD AND WRINKLY."
Why it's awesome: As we become more open about sexuality (thank goodness), it's only natural that a wink and a nudge find their way into the wedding vows. In an open thread on A Practical Wedding, Zach and Kate shared their vows, which included the promise "to hit on you in awesome accents and grab your butt even when we're old and wrinkly." This promise to keep the spark alive even years down the line is no small thing. After all, studies have shown that all it can take is a simple touch to maintain a sexual connection.
5. "TO VALUE OUR DIFFERENCES AS MUCH AS OUR COMMON GROUND."
Why it's awesome: Love is a powerful force to bring people together, even when they're divided by cultural background, religion and, increasingly, politics. As society grows more divisive and we hold tight to our views, it's valuable to remember that our differences don't have to actually divide us, as these vows from real-life couple Greta Christina and Ingrid, told to Patheos, show.
6. "TO CONTINUE TO LOVE YOUR CHILDREN, AS IF THEY WERE MY OWN."
Why it's awesome: A marriage isn't just a vow to one person, it's a vow to an entire family — future and present. In 2011, Pew Research found that more than 4 in 10 American adults have at least one "step relative" in their family, including a stepparent, a stepchild or a step or half sibling. These adults are just as likely as others to say that family is the most important element of their lives. So it's no surprise that people have been adapting their weddings to encompass the commitment to an entire family, as Sara M. did in her vows, shared on Offbeat Bride.
7. "TO COMFORT YOU WHEN THE FALCONS LOSE AND DRINK BEER WITH YOU WHEN THEY WIN."
Why it's awesome: As Mallory summed up so perfectly to Eddie in their vows, shared by the Knot, appreciating each other's distinct interests and actively sharing in them together makes a huge difference. It goes beyond just putting on the Falcons jersey: Sitting down for the game and sharing a beer is what researchers would call "shared leisure," and it makes a big difference for marital satisfaction. That football game is more than just a football game.
8. "TO NEVER TRY TO HURT YOU JUST BECAUSE I'M ANGRY OR TIRED."
Why it's awesome: The chaos of our lives means lots of stress, lots of late nights and lots of exhaustion. (Unsurprisingly, Gallup found that 40% of American adults get less than the recommended amount of sleep.) That can actually wreak havoc on a relationship, which is why it's all the more important to anticipate the challenge. Sarah's vows to her husband, which she shared on A Practical Wedding, are a promise not to take out her stress and exhaustion on him. Instead, she vows to trust him throughout the chaos, "even when we veer from GPS directions, schedules, itineraries and to-do lists."
9. "I HAVE CALLED YOU MY LIFE PARTNER, MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER, MY LONGTIME COMPANION, MY LOVER. ... NOW I VOW TO LOVE YOU ALWAYS AS MY LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND."
Why it's awesome: The vows said by George Takei and longtime partner Brad Altman at their wedding, after the passage of marriage equality in California, were unsurprisingly moving, given they were 21 years in the making. As couples, straight and gay, wait longer to get married (and cohabit in the meantime), labels like "husband" or "wife" are less crucial for defining the relationship than the moments a couple has shared. Takei and Altman's wedding was not proof of their commitment, but rather a tribute to the commitment they had already demonstrated — a truth echoed clearly in their vows.
10. "TO BE YOUR PARTNER IN ALL THINGS, NOT POSSESSING YOU, BUT WORKING WITH YOU AS A PART OF THE WHOLE."
Why it's awesome: If we're really striving for egalitarian marriages, then recognizing the equal amounts of work required by each half, as partners, is crucial, especially as women's participation in the workforce keeps growing (57.2% compared to 69.7% for men in 2013). In order for both careers to receive equal focus, a promise not to "possess" but to work to support each other is key. Much like Amelia Earhart refused to use the word "obey," real-life couple Alex and Michelle promised to be each other's "equal in all things" in the vows they shared with the Knot.
11. "I WILL LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT MAKES MY BLOOD CIRCULATE, OR EVEN NO MATTER WHAT PROVIDES MY BODY WITH OXYGEN."
Why it's awesome: Traditional weddings tend to be religious occasions, but with increasing rates of atheism and marriages across faiths, religion is taking a back seat to a more personalized expression of commitment. As of 2013, only one third of couples opted to get married in a church, and even more are removing religion from their vows. But that doesn't mean the vows don't appeal to a higher sense of faith — in the other person or in the world, as these scientific, "atheistic" vows, translated from Swedish and shared on Reddit, prove.
12. "I SEE THESE VOWS NOT AS PROMISES BUT AS PRIVILEGES."
Why it's awesome: Marriage might have been necessary decades ago, but these days it's more of a choice. So it's only natural that the vows we recite — traditionally a list of duties and obligations — actually reflect the happy choice that marriage now is for so many.
Source: the  knot

TRADITIONAL WEDDING VOWS FROM VARIOUS RELIGIONS

Whether or not you're going to stick with tradition, the meaning behind these classic religious vows are romantic and a great starting point for writing your own or altering them to suit you.
Each religious faith has wedding traditions and practices -- including standard wedding vows -- that have been passed down through generations. Exact phrases vary slightly from place to place and among different clergy, so ask your officiant to tell you what he or she prefers.
PROTESTANT WEDDING VOWS
There are many different types of Protestant churches, all with their own slightly different traditions and beliefs. Below are typical vows from various denominations, but you'll find many of them differ only slightly from one another.
BASIC PROTESTANT VOWS
"I, ___, take thee, ___, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge thee my faith [or] pledge myself to you."
EPISCOPAL
"______, wilt thou have this woman/man to be thy wedded wife/husband to live together after God's ordinance in the Holy Estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her/him? Comfort her/him, honor and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others keep thee only unto her/him as long as you both shall live?"
"In the name of God, I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."
METHODIST
"Will you have this woman/man to be your wife/husband, to live together in holy marriage? Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor, and keep her/him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her/him as long as you both shall live?"
"In the name of God, I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."
PRESBYTERIAN
"______, wilt thou have this woman/man to be thy wife/husband, and wilt thou pledge thy faith to him/her, in all love and honor, in all duty and service, in all faith and tenderness, to live with her/him, and cherish her/him, according to the ordinance of God, in the holy bond of marriage?"
"I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wedded wife/husband, and I do promise and covenant, before God and these witnesses, to be your loving and faithful husband/wife, in plenty and want, in joy and in sorrow, in sickness and in health, as long as we both shall live."
LUTHERAN
"I take you, ______, to be my wife/husband from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us."
"I, ______, take you, ______, to be my wife/husband, and these things I promise you: I will be faithful to you and honest with you; I will respect, trust, help, and care for you; I will share my life with you; I will forgive you as we have been forgiven; and I will try with you better to understand ourselves, the world and God; through the best and worst of what is to come, and as long as we live."
CATHOLIC WEDDING VOWS
"I, ___, take you, ___, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part."
"I, ___, take you, ___, to be my husband/wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life."
HINDU WEDDING VOWS
Traditional Hindu wedding ceremonies have many elements and rituals. Technically there are no "vows" in the Western sense, but the Seven Steps, or Saptha Padhi, around a flame (honoring the fire god, Agni) spell out the promises the couple makes to each other:
"Let us take the first step to provide for our household a nourishing and pure diet, avoiding those foods injurious to healthy living.
"Let us take the second step to develop physical, mental and spiritual powers.
"Let us take the third step to increase our wealth by righteous means and proper use.
"Let us take the fourth step to acquire knowledge, happiness and harmony by mutual love and trust.
"Let us take the fifth step so that we are blessed with strong, virtuous and heroic children.
"Let us take the sixth step for self-restraint and longevity.
"Finally, let us take the seventh step and be true companions and remain lifelong partners by this wedlock."
JEWISH WEDDING VOWS
In a traditional Jewish ceremony, there is no actual exchange of vows; the covenant is said to be implicit in the ritual. The Jewish wedding ceremony structure varies within Orthodox, Conservative, Reform and Reconstructionist synagogues, and also among individual rabbis. The marriage vow is customarily sealed when the groom places a ring on the bride's finger and says (in English transliteration), "Haray at mekudeshet lee beh-taba'at zo keh-dat Moshe veh-Yisrael," which translates to, "Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel."
Many Jewish couples today do want to exchange spoken vows; they are now included in many Reform and Conservative ceremonies.
EXAMPLE OF REFORM VOWS

"Do you,___, take_____ to be your wife/husband, promising to cherish and protect her/him, whether in good fortune or in adversity, and to seek together with her/him a life hallowed by the faith of Israel?"
EXAMPLE OF CONSERVATIVE VOWS
"Do you, ____, take _____ to be your lawfully wedded wife/husband, to love, to honor and to cherish?"
Another version of nontraditional vows is a phrase from the Song of Songs: "Ani leh-dodee veh-dodee lee," which means, "I am my beloved's, and my beloved is mine."
MUSLIM WEDDING VOWS
Most Muslim couples do not recite vows, but rather heed the words of the imam (cleric), who speaks about the meaning of marriage and the couple's responsibilities to each other and to Allah during the nikah, or marriage contract. At the end of this ritual, the couple consents to become husband and wife, and they are blessed by the congregation. However, some Muslim brides and grooms do recite vows -- here is a common recitation:
Bride: "I, ___, offer you myself in marriage in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Quran and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessing be upon him. I pledge, in honesty and with sincerity, to be for you an obedient and faithful wife." Groom: "I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband."
EASTERN ORTHODOX WEDDING VOWS
Many branches of the Orthodox church use silent vows during the ceremony -- an introspective prayer in which the couple promises to be loyal and loving to each other. In the Russian tradition, however, vows are spoken out loud:
"I, ___, take you, ___, as my wedded wife/husband and I promise you love, honor and respect; to be faithful to you, and not to forsake you until death do us part. So help me God, one in the Holy Trinity and all the Saints."
NONDENOMINATIONAL WEDDING VOWS
"I, ______, take you, ______, to be no other than yourself. Loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know, I will respect your integrity and have faith in your abiding love for me, through all our years, and in all that life may bring us."
"______, I take you as my wife/husband, with your faults and your strengths, as I offer myself to you with my faults and my strengths. I will help you when you need help, and turn to you when I need help. I choose you as the person with whom I will spend my life."
QUAKER
"In the presence of God and these our friends I take thee, ______, to be my husband/wife, promising with Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful husband/wife so long as we both shall live."
UNITARIAN WEDDING VOWS
The Unitarian Universalist Church leaves the service structure and wording up to individual ministers. But many vows will likely borrow from Christian wording and themes:
"______, will you take ______ to be your wife/husband; love, honor and cherish her/him now and forevermore?"
"______, will you take ______ as your wife/husband, will you pledge to share your life openly with her/him, to speak the truth to her/him, in love? Will you promise to honor and tenderly care for her/him, to encourage her/him fulfillment as an individual through all the changes in your lives?"
"______, will you have this woman/man, ______, to be your wedded wife/husband, to live together in marriage, will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor her/him and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, so long as you both shall live?"
"______, do you take this woman/man, ______, to be your wife/husband? Do you pledge to share your life openly with her/him and to speak the truth to her/him in love?
(I do.)
Will you comfort her/him, honor her/him and keep her/him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, so long as you both shall live?"
(I will.

TIPS FOR CHOOSING YOUR WEDDING CAR

One of the most important visual aspects of your big day is your wedding car. Everyone wants two things out of their ride: to look great and run well but there are other additional issues that need to be looked out for.
One of the more important visual aspects of your big day is your wedding car. Everyone wants two things out of their ride: to look great and run well but there are other additional issues that need to be looked out for.
However, when narrowing down your options, it's important to consider all visual and practical aspects- including:  the look/ feel, how well the car runs, how beautiful the car is and so many other things.
HERE ARE SOME THINGS TO TAKE NOTE OF:
* Are you renting a car or borrowing one from your friend/family?
* How many people do you have to accommodate in each vehicle (Note: It’s traditional for the bride to travel to the ceremony with whoever is going to give her away, and from the ceremony to the photograph venue and on to the reception.)
* How far you’re going to travel
* How much you want to spend
* Comfort. Will it fit your dress/ everyone else’s outfits? (It would be quite embarrassing if a bride looks all rumpled and disheveled on her big day)
HOW MUCH SHOULD I BUDGET FOR A WEDDING CAR?
Most wedding experts recommend borrowing or lending from a family/friends. However, if a car is something you want to splash out on, that’s absolutely do-able, but it means that you’ll have to tighten your budget elsewhere. Similarly, if you happen to have at your disposal a cheap alternative, be my guest and make your wedding one to remember! It means you can spend your money elsewhere (I suggest that you consider less extravagant options)
WHAT STYLE SHOULD I CHOOSE?
Choosing the style is the more difficult part. Usually, plenty of cars will fit your practical criteria, so choosing a car, like everything else in planning a wedding, depend highly on your personal taste. Not only should the car represent (at least a slice of) your personality, but it should suit the tone and formality of your wedding.
FINDING THE BEST OF THE BEST
Recommendations from friends and family tend to be very reliable when searching for a wedding car. But I also suggest going to a wedding expo and see which ones are recommended by the best hotels, as well as looking in magazines and online wedding sites.
Booking through reputable and professional wedding car companies is usually the best idea. Larger companies generally have the widest array of options, competitive prices and offer assurance that you’ll get quality for your money.
Alternatively, if you are lucky enough to have a friend or relative that owns a suitable vehicle, ask if you can borrow it. They might even be happy to even drive you around, which is a lovely way to make your day personal and special. The downside to this plan is that if things go wrong, you might not have a backup. Get another car ready or book a taxi on stand-by in case of emergencies for peace of mind.
VERIFY THE CAR
Once you’ve found a car you like, go and see it in person. It’s worth the extra effort. Photographs on websites can be misleading and it also gives you a chance to see whether your fabulous dress will fit inside. If you’re providing transport for the wedding party as well, bear in mind that some cars advertised as seating 5 or six people might not be taking into account bulky bridesmaids' dresses, so choose accordingly.
Finally, if you are renting a car make sure you find out if there any extras included with your transport. Find out if they’ll co-ordinate and decorate the ribbon with your color scheme and whether they provide flowers to adorn the parcel shelf? Does the car have heating/ air conditioning? If you’ve decided on an open-top wedding car, do they provide umbrellas in case of rain? Are any food and beverages provided in the vehicle?
Make sure you adhere to these tips, Good luck, and happy hunting

WHEN PLANNING A WEDDING, OPTIONS ARE A BRIDES BEST FRIEND

Whether you’re a bride, a friend of a bride or someone who is looking forward to getting married in the near or distant future, we’re going to let you in on one of the best pieces of wedding planning advice you could ever receive. Explore all your options! Just as you never settled during your search for true love, you shouldn’t have to settle for anything but the exact wedding details you want.
Options afford you complete control in the look and feel of your wedding. To those on the outside of the wedding planning process, details like the shade of blue you choose for your table linens may seem insignificant. While we won’t argue that they’re more important than remembering to book a minister, we will affirm that something as simple as tablecloths truly does have a profound impact on the overall look of your reception.
One of the biggest pitfalls of wedding planning is to believe that your options are limited to what one vendor has to offer. There are many, many wedding vendors in the Central Pennsylvania area alone, all with different strengths – and inventory. We advise every bride and groom to be specific with what they want and then we try our best to accommodate it, not vice versa.
OPTIONS WILL HELP YOU TO CREATE THE DREAM WEDDING YOU’VE ALWAYS ENVISIONED!
When planning a wedding, options are a bride’s best friend for several reasons. Here are three reasons why you should explore all of your options and never settle for less than what you’re dreaming your wedding day to look like.
1. YOU WILL STAY TRUE TO WHAT YOU ENVISION FOR YOUR DREAM WEDDING
Maybe you’ve been planning your wedding for just a few months, or maybe you’ve been planning all your life, either way we understand that what you envision is what you want to see come to life. You don’t want to be told you have to choose a different style or chair or color of linen just because they’re out of stock. You only get to live this day once, so options help ensure you have everything exactly the way you want it.
2. YOU ARE MORE LIKELY TO STAY ON BUDGET
If you can’t find exactly what you want with one vendor, they may try and upsell you on another rental item that is similar, but more expensive. Even changing one small detail could result in a difference of thousands of dollars when multiplied by a couple hundred guests. Shop around and explore all your options so that you’re getting what you want at the price you want.
3. YOU KNOW YOU ARE WORKING WITH THE BEST EVENT PROFESSIONALS AROUND
Finally, when you explore all your options and talk with several wedding vendors, you can feel confident with whoever you choose to work with. You know you didn’t just settle for the first business to answer their phone. Be sure and listen to your gut, ask tough questions and don’t be afraid to speak up. True event professionals don’t shy away from special requests, instead they do everything they can to accommodate them!

23 CHEAP WEDDING RECEPTION FOOD & DRINKS MENU IDEAS ON A BUDGET

When my husband and I were planning our wedding, we wanted to keep it simple, elegant, and most importantly under budget.
So we were a little shocked when our caterer quoted us her lowest price of $35 per person for dinner – not including alcohol. With 160 guests, we were already at $5,600, and with an open bar were looking at a total bill of more than $10,000 just for food and drinks! Our total budget was around $10,000, so we needed to find a few ways to scrimp and save when it came to the dinner and alcohol- Casey Slide
If you want to save a bundle on food and drink at your wedding as well, here are 23 ways to do it.
SAVE MONEY ON APPETIZERS
1. PROVIDE YOUR OWN APPETIZERS
This may sound time consuming, but it’s actually quite easy, particularly if you choose appetizers that can be made ahead of time and frozen, then just warmed up right before cocktail hour. Most caterers charge an overinflated price for appetizers, and you can save up to 50% of the cost this way. Here are some of my favorite, quick and easy appetizer recipe ideas you can use.
2. DO NOT HAVE SERVERS
My mom thought it would be really fun to have servers walking around with trays of appetizers at my wedding. In the end though, we decided to pass on the idea. Your guests will care a lot more about actually eating appetizers than how it is presented to them, and you won’t have to pay the extra wait staff.
3. GO SIMPLE
Your guests will probably be hungry when they arrive at the reception, and most of them will not care what they eat as long as they can have some sort of snack before dinner. So set out some simple crackers, cheese squares, and some fruit. Your guests will be very satisfied with just that.
SAVE MONEY ON DRINKS
4. B.Y.O.B.
When you book your wedding reception venue, make sure to ask if it is okay to bring your own beverages (B.Y.O.B.). By bringing your own beer, wine, and liquor, you will not have to pay the inflated prices that the venue will charge if they were to provide that service.
5. LIMIT OPEN BAR
If your reception is for four hours, consider only having open bar for the first hour or two. Many guests will have a drink when they arrive at the reception while they are waiting for the festivities to begin and will not have a second drink. Others will leave after dinner is served and will not even be there for the second half to enjoy an open bar. Another option is to close the bar during the dinner hour. Most guests will be busy eating and conversing and won’t need a beverage during that time.
6. SERVE ONLY WINE AND BEER
Limit the types of alcoholic beverages served to just wine and beer so you will not have to pay for liquor. This will still give your guests who want to drink alcohol two good options to choose from.
7. SERVE NON-ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES
I went to a beautiful wedding on a farm once that served a bunch of fun, non-alcoholic drinks, such as frozen mocha and fruit smoothies. After my third frozen mocha, the last thing I cared about was having an alcoholic beverage!
8. SERVE ONE SIGNATURE DRINK
If you really want to serve liquor at your wedding, consider serving one signature drink, perhaps you and your future spouses’ favorite. It would be fun for the guests to try it out, and it would save you money since it would require limited alcohol.
SAVE MONEY ON THE MEAL
9. DON’T HAVE A SIT-DOWN DINNER
Serving heavy appetizers instead of a meal has been a big trend in recent years. Guests can mingle more, and can still get satisfied with the appetizers. And your wallet will thank you too.
10. PICK A VENUE THAT ALLOWS OUTSIDE CATERING
In order to find the best deal, make sure your venue allows you to use the caterer of your choice. This is not the case with many hotels that require you to eat their food.
11. CHECK THE PRICES OF BOTH PLATED AND BUFFET MEALS
I have always thought that a buffet is more expensive because guests will eat more food, and therefore, more food is needed. At the venue for my wedding, this was true; the buffet was more expensive than the plated meal. Others will argue the opposite. My advice is to check the prices of both options, and go with the cheaper.
12. CONSIDER STATIONS
Similar to the idea of a buffet, the stations concept allows guests to visit different “stations” to get their food. You could have a carving station, a pasta station, a taco station, a southern cooking station, and so on. This is a really popular option for modern weddings and is priced competitively.
13. SERVE FAMILY STYLE
Have you ever been to a restaurant that serves family style? The entire table orders a meal as a group, and the food is passed around the table just like at home. A big pan of lasagna is certainly less expensive than 10 plates of filet mignon for a table.
14. ORDER TAKE OUT
There are no official wedding food rules, and if you and your future spouse like pizza, then order some pies. If you like Chinese food, order a couple pu pu platters along with some fried rice. It’s your wedding so serve food you love, and you could save big time.
15. HAVE YOUR FAMILY COOK
You could have a cooking party the day before your wedding where the cooks in your family get together to make their signature dishes. This idea could work great with either a buffet or family style service.
16. DON’T SERVE OUT OF SEASON
Many foods are seasonal, so make sure you do not serve anything out of season. This can be very costly because the food needs to be transported long distances, which inflates prices.
SAVE MONEY ON DESSERTS
17. HAVE A SIMPLE DISPLAY CAKE
It may be tempting to have an extravagant seven tiered cake, but resist the temptation and have a simple two tiered cake and a large sheet cake in the back. Your guests will be none the wiser (and most people don’t eat the wedding cake, anyway).
18. HAVE A CUPCAKE CAKE
Instead of a $400 cake, my husband and I spent less than $100 and had a beautiful tiered display of yummy red velvet cupcakes. You could also send your guests home with a matching boxed up mini cupcake as a wedding favor!
19. HAVE A SWEETS BAR
Go to a drugstore and pick out bags of candy to serve in different dishes on a candy buffet. Or, you can have different desserts like brownies, pies, and cookies for your guests to choose from. This is much cheaper than a wedding cake and a lot more fun.
20. SERVE SMALLER SLICES
If you have your heart set on having a particular wedding cake that is expensive, see if you can downsize it and serve smaller slices. Most bakers charge by the slice, and if they’re getting two servings per slice, they might be able to cut you a break.
OTHER WAYS TO SAVE MONEY ON WEDDING FOOD AND DRINK
21. HAVE A DAYTIME WEDDING
Breakfast and lunch cost less than dinner so consider having a daytime wedding. I went to a wedding a few years ago that served breakfast at the reception. I got a made-to-order omelette and pancakes!
22. INVITE FEWER PEOPLE
As I mentioned, food is where a huge chunk of your money goes for a wedding. Since food is typically charged by the head count, invite fewer people as a way to save some dough. This applies to wedding invitations as well.
23. CHECK FOR HIDDEN FEES
If your venue charges fees for things like cake cutting and champagne toasts, avoid those fees if possible. Instead of having champagne passed out by the serving staff, have the best man raise whatever glass is in his hand, and all the guests will follow suit.
FINAL WORD
There are plenty of ways to save money on food and drink at your wedding, without sacrificing style or having guests leave with an empty stomach.
What are some of your best tips to save money on food at drink at a wedding? Please share them in the comments below.

5 STEPS TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

“It doesn’t take hard work to keep a relationship happy or stable over time,” says Terri Orbuch, Ph.D, psychologist and author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great.
According to her research, consistent, small and simple changes create a successful marriage. Below, she outlines the five steps from her book for a happy and healthy marriage, and gives practical suggestions that couples can try right now. These tips are valuable for anyone in a relationship, whether you’ve walked down the aisle or not.
SCIENCE-BASED STEPS
Orbuch’s steps are based on an ongoing long-term study funded by the National Institutes of Health. Since 1986, she’s followed the same 373 couples, which were married that year.
Couples were chosen from marriage licenses from one Midwestern county, and then approached to participate in the study. Demographically, couples matched national norms.
Couples were interviewed together and as individuals, and completed a variety of standardized measures on subjects like well being and depression. Most couples were interviewed seven times.
Forty-six percent of the couples divorced, which is representative of the national divorce rate. Divorced partners continued to be interviewed individually.
FIVE STEPS TO A GREAT RELATIONSHIP
1. EXPECT LESS AND GET MORE FROM YOUR PARTNER.
Many people assume that conflict is kryptonite to relationships. But it’s actually frustration, Orbuch says. Specifically, frustration forms when a partner’s expectations go unmet, she says.
Happy couples have realistic expectations, both about relationships in general and about their relationship in particular. For instance, in her book, Orbuch busts 10 common couples myths. One myth is that healthy couples don’t have conflict. Conflict is inevitable. In fact, according to Orbuch, “If you aren’t having conflict, you aren’t talking about the important issues in your relationship.”
PRACTICAL TIP Have you and your partner separately write your top two expectations for your relationship (i.e., how you think your partner should treat you; your deal breakers). According to Orbuch, this simple activity allows couples to see what’s important to each other. If your partner isn’t aware of your expectations, how can they meet them?
2. GIVE INCENTIVES AND REWARDS.
For the couples in Orbuch’s study, affective affirmation was key to marriage happiness. Affective affirmation is “letting your partner know that they’re special, valued and you don’t take them for granted,” she says.
Couples show affective affirmation through words and actions. It’s as simple as saying “I love you” or “You’re my best friend.” Affirmative behaviors can be anything from turning the coffee pot on in the morning for your partner to sending them a sexy email to filling their tank with gas.
Contrary to popular belief, men need more affective affirmation than women because women “can get it from other people in our lives,” Orbuch speculates.
The key is to give consistent affirmation, she says, ”rather than heaps of it at once.”
PRACTICAL TIP: An affirmation a day can keep a couple happy. Orbuch suggests either saying something affirming to your partner or doing something affirming for them once a day.
3. HAVE DAILY BRIEFINGS FOR IMPROVED COMMUNICATION.
Most couples will say that they communicate. But this communication is commonly what Orbuch calls “maintaining the household,” which includes talks about paying the bills, buying groceries, helping the kids with homework or calling the in-laws.
Instead, meaningful communication means “getting to know your partner’s inner world,” Orbuch says. “When you’re really happy, you know what makes your partner tick and really understand them.”
PRACTICAL TIP: Practice the 10-minute rule. That involves, “Every single day talking to your partner for at least 10 minutes about something other than four topics: work, family, who’s going to do what around the house or your relationship.” Couples can talk over the phone, by email or in person. The key is to get to know your partner.
Not sure what to ask? Orbuch gives these sample topics: “What have you been most proud of this year?” “If you won the lottery, where would you want to travel to and why?” or “What are your top five movies of all time?”
4. IMPLEMENT CHANGE.
Every relationship gets into a rut, Orbuch says. Implementing change can help, and there are many ways to do that. One way to implement change is to add something new, she says. “The main idea is to mimic your relationship when you first met one another.”
PRACTICAL TIP: To reduce boredom and keep things fresh, change up your routine. For instance, “Instead of going to the same restaurant, find some new exotic restaurant in the city,” Orbuch suggests. Vacation somewhere new or take a class together.
Another strategy is to “do an arousal-producing activity or [an activity that] gives you a surge of adrenal or excitement. What we find is that if you do that activity with your partner, the arousal or adrenaline produced by that other activity can actually get transferred to your partner or relationship.”
She suggests exercising together, riding a roller coaster or seeing a scary movie.
5. KEEP COSTS LOW AND BENEFITS HIGH.
As Orbuch says, the first four steps focus on adding or bolstering the positives in your relationship. This step focuses on “keeping the costs low.” Based on Orbuch’s study and other literature, a happy couple has a 5 to 1 ratio. That is, they have five positive feelings or experiences to everyone negative feeling or experience.
It isn’t that you need to approach your relationship with a calculator. But it’s important to “audit” your relationship regularly and consider the “costs and benefits.”
Many couples assume that there should be a balance between the pros and cons, but Orbuch gives the following description: If you have “the positives in your right hand and the costly behaviors in your left hand, make sure your right goes way down,” so “The positive things really need to outweigh the negatives.”
Orbuch’s research also suggests that there are six top costly behaviors: constant fighting, miscommunication, household chores, jealousy, keeping secrets and not getting along with a partner’s family.
PRACTICAL TIP: You can audit your relationship by essentially making a traditional pros and cons list. Take a piece of paper, and draw a line down the middle. “On the left side, write down all the positive emotions and behaviors connected to your partner and relationship. On the right side, jot down all the negative emotions and behaviors associated with your partner and relationship.” Again, “Make sure the left side is always much longer in length and quantity than the right side.” Ask your partner to do this, too.
In her book, Orbuch offers solutions to the top six costs. For example, if constant fighting is a problem, keep in mind that it’s important to find the right time and situation to talk (e.g., a bad time is when you’re visiting family, a spouse gets home from work or it’s nighttime).
Orbuch also says that it’s “OK to go to bed mad.” It’s a myth that couples should never go to bed angry. “Continuing to stay up at night makes things worse.”
It’s tough to fight fair when you’re irritated, exhausted and angry. Your problem-solving skills slump. It’s better to agree to talk things over in the morning “after you’ve slept on it” and you “see the disagreement in a new light.”
In general, Orbuch found that happy couples focus on the positives of their relationships. So it’s important to “strengthen what’s already going well,” she says. This increases a couple’s ability to deal with the negative issues in their relationship.

KEEPING ROMANCE ALIVE

Life has a way of chipping away at our marriages: jobs and job related travel, in-laws, church activities, activities with the kids, conflict and misunderstandings. Most of us run at the speed of light, wake up one day and realize, "Huh. I don’t feel very close to my spouse anymore." The truth is that it happens to the best of us.
Here are a few simple methods I have learned throughout the years to revive romance in a stale marriage.
START DATING AGAIN
Go out at least once a week. It doesn't have to be an expensive date – just something simple.
A brown bag dinner in the park, a walk around the lake, a cup of cappuccino at a coffee shop or simply putting the kids to bed early and just talking will often do the trick. Or, revisit the things that you did when you were dating, like going to a movie, the theatre or a nice relaxing dinner for two.
After being "pulled apart" by all the pressures of modern life, it is imperative to reconnect each week. If you don't, you won't feel close.
MAKE YOURSELF ATTRACTIVE
Here's the irony: If you make yourself more attractive, your spouse will often become more attractive to you. Quite often, changes that you make in your appearance can precipitate changes in your spouse just as positive actions often breed positive reactions.
OTHER SUGGESTIONS:
Go to the gym together.
Walk with your spouse three to five times a week.
Buy new clothes, and throw out those ugly sleep shirts/pajamas.
Change habits.
Shave the beard (men only), or change your hairstyle.
Get new eye glasses, or try contacts.
MAKE A LIST
Determine what it is that makes you feel attracted to someone. What attracted you to your partner in the first place? What are the things that you find attractive that you would like to see in your spouse? What gets your attention?
COMMUNICATE YOUR DESIRES TO YOUR SPOUSE
Do so in non-threatening, non-judgmental ways.
For example, you could say, "Honey, let's make some changes. We are both in a rut. We've changed over the years and lost some of the spark in our marriage. Let's change how we treat each other. Let's call each other during the day at work. Let's change how we look. Let's walk together each evening."
Avoid using "you" statements. Use "I feel" or "I need" instead.
Try writing a letter as an alternative to face to face communication, especially if you feel they will react negatively.
DO YOUR RESEARCH
Attraction doesn't just occur in a marriage. It is something that must be worked at. Often the process of bringing attraction back begins with education and basic communication. Read books and research articles on the Web that discuss reviving romance and attraction.
DO GOOD THINGS DAILY
Doing goods things doesn't necessarily require spending a lot of money. Simple things, like picking up your dirty underwear, giving a free back rub, preparing dinner, writing an appreciative note, hand picking flowers or taking on a chore that your partner normally does, build intimacy and closeness in your marriage like nothing else.
Attraction often follows on the heels of serving each other like you did in the early years of your relationship. Often it's the little things that count  not the big ones.
Scripture teaches that marriage is ordained by God and part of His original design for us as well as a foreshadowing of our eternal relationship with Him. Focus on the Family is primarily a donor-funded ministry.

THE 5 MOST COMMON MISTAKES IN EVENT PLANNING (AND HOW TO AVOID THEM!)

Events can be dogged by cost overruns, poor scheduling and customer dissatisfaction due to a range of factors related to planning, communication and resource allocation. Here are the five most common event planning mistakes, and ways smart event planners can avoid them.
MISTAKE NO. 1: FAILURE TO ALLOCATE THE RIGHT RESOURCES, WITH THE RIGHT SKILLS.
PROBLEM: It’s seems fairly obvious that proper event staffing is critical, yet improperly allocating resources tops the list of most common event management mistakes. Not having the right people managing an event can be a recipe for disaster. The key to a successful event is getting the right people with the right skills. All the planning in the world won't overcome an insufficiency of talent.
SOLUTION: Event managers need full visibility into the skills and workloads of all of their resources, including vendors, contractors and outsourcers, who often get left out of skills assessments even though they're doing a "huge" proportion of work. A thorough assessment of all resources at the outset of the planning process can provide such visibility into everyone's skills and workloads. Once event planners know everyone's capabilities and who's doing what, it becomes far easier to figure out how to allocate resources across the myriad elements and day-to-day work.
MISTAKE NO. 2: FAILURE TO KEEP A TRACK OF CHANGES TO THE SCOPE OF THE EVENT.
PROBLEM: As with most real-life scenarios, most events will have changes in plans and scope before the big day. Failure to keep a track of the smallest change can mean an out of control budget, or an impossible timeline.
SOLUTION: Following a formal 'change tracking process' is a simple but extremely effective way to keep changes documented, communicated and under control. The individual requesting the change (e.g. additional seating capacity or change in the food service) needs to explain the specific changes and the event manager needs to determine how that request will impact the budget, timeline and communicate it to all other stakeholders involved.
MISTAKE NO. 3: IGNORING MURPHY'S LAW.
PROBLEM: If anything can go wrong, it probably will! Stuff happens at the last minute, leaving everybody surprised by it. Consequently, the event goes into a tailspin while the event planner tries to clean up a mess they had not anticipated.
SOLUTION: Perform an event risk assessment as an early part of the event planning process. Set time aside with your event team to brainstorm what could happen to derail the event, cause a budget overrun, or to prevent you from delivering the expected results. Then figure out ways you can mitigate those risks. This exercise doesn't take a long time, and it's enormously helpful in understanding the weak links before planning even gets underway.
MISTAKE NO. 4: LACK OF EXPERIENCED EVENT MANAGERS.
PROBLEM: Event planning can quickly grow out of control without an experienced event manager at the helm who knows what they are doing.
SOLUTION: The first step is to hire event managers with certifications and the finesse required to understand and manage the customer’s needs. Good event managers have the right combination of ‘soft skills’ and can demonstrate how to facilitate planning meetings, manage risk and handle a variety of different stakeholders. It’s really comes down to people skills, especially given the different stakeholders.
MISTAKE NO. 5: SIMPLE PROCESS MISTAKES BY NOT FOLLOWING STANDARD, REPEATABLE EVENT MANAGEMENT PROCESSES.
PROBLEM: This is a far more common event management mistake than most event planners imagine. Lack of an agreed upon plan increases the risk that tasks related to the event will fall through the cracks, that the event will have last minute issues, fall short on budget and ultimately miss a major objective.
SOLUTION: A well defined and agreed upon event plan helps planners tackle every task efficiently and raises the appropriate level of awareness of all the activities involved in the execution of an event. Having baseline of repeatable processes for scoping, scheduling, allocating resources and communicating with stakeholders removes a lot of the guesswork associated with events.

TEN SECRETS TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

Successful couples are savvy. They read books, attend seminars, browse Web articles and observe other successful couples. However, successful couples will tell you that they also learn by experience – trial and error.
Here are 10 principles of success I have learned from working with and observing hundreds of couples:
1) HAPPINESS IS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING.
Everyone wants to be happy, but happiness will come and go. Successful couples learn to intentionally do things that will bring happiness back when life pulls it away.
2) COUPLES DISCOVER THE VALUE IN JUST SHOWING UP.
When things get tough and couples don't know what to do, they need to hang in there and be there for their spouse. Time has a way of helping couples work things out by providing opportunities to reduce stress and overcome challenges.
3) IF YOU DO WHAT YOU ALWAYS DO, YOU WILL GET SAME RESULT.
Wise couples have learned that you have to approach problems differently to get different results. Often, minor changes in approach, attitude and actions make the biggest difference in marriage.
4) YOUR ATTITUDE DOES MATTER.
Changing behavior is important, but so is changing attitudes. Bad attitudes often drive bad feelings and actions.
5) CHANGE YOUR MIND, CHANGE YOUR MARRIAGE.
How couples think and what they believe about their spouse affects how they perceive the other. What they expect and how they treat their spouse matters greatly.
6) THE GRASS IS GREENEST WHERE YOU WATER IT.
Successful couples have learned to resist the grass is greener myth – i.e. someone else will make me happy. They have learned to put their energy into making themselves and their marriage better.
7) YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MARRIAGE BY CHANGING YOURSELF.
Veteran couples have learned that trying to change their spouse is like trying to push a rope – almost impossible. Often, the only person we can change in our marriage is ourselves.
8) LOVE IS A VERB, NOT JUST A FEELING.
Everyday life wears away the "feel good side of marriage." Feelings, like happiness, will fluctuate. But, real love is based on a couple's vows of commitment: "For better or for worse" – when it feels good and when it doesn't.
9) MARRIAGE IS OFTEN ABOUT FIGHTING THE BATTLE BETWEEN YOUR EARS.
Successful couples have learned to resist holding grudges, bringing up the past and remembering that they married an imperfect person – and so did their spouse.
10) A CRISIS DOESN'T MEAN THE MARRIAGE IS OVER.
Crises are like storms: loud, scary and dangerous. But to get through a storm you have to keep driving. A crisis can be a new beginning. It's out of pain that great people and marriages are produced.